It’s highly likely that during your career you’ll come into contact with what’s called the destructive narcissist. Now that’s bad if it’s a co-worker, but if it turns out to be your manager then you have a big problem.
Narcissism is defined as a personality disorder by the National Institutes of Health, where there is an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with one’s self. Now that’s a bit of a medical mouthful, but to me the destructive narcissist is simply the worst form of arrogant, controlling and manipulative bullying that occurs in the workplace.
So first of all, how do you spot a destructive narcissist and what traits do they exhibit in the workplace? It’s not hard:
- Destructive narcissists can be flamboyant, charismatic and extremely articulate. In many cases, co-workers and reports are initially won over by their charismatic power.
- They are arrogant and self-centered, expecting to have the floor during meetings and needing special treatment and privileges.
- The narcissistic is patronizing and critical of co-workers but is unwilling to accept any form of criticism. When challenged, the narcissistic can even get into fits of rage.
- They are masters at setting up peer level managers up for failure and will even pit workers against each other.
- In many cases they can be just darn right cruel to their reports, often targeting weakness and harassing people until they quit their jobs.
- They crave what’s called the “narcissistic supply”, that is the supply of workers who can be easily manipulated and pander to their every whim. If you were ever bullied at school, you’ll know these people; they follow the bully around, doing everything to seek favour.
On a personal level, having to deal with destructive narcissists can be bad enough, but if left unchecked by the organization (and in particular HR / personnel) they can create such a traumatic and toxic environment that talented people are forced to leave. Eventually the repeat behaviours of the narcissistic may be called into account and that person may be fired, but this does nothing to protect the business from other narcissists working across the organization. In some situations I’ve even seen such destructive behaviors encouraged by an organization, with narcissists rampant in senior level management and executive positions. I’ll be writing more about these situations in a future blog, but for now if you find yourself working in such a toxic organization I can only advise you to do one thing – leave (and do it quickly).
But enough of the doom and gloom, what can we do at a practical level to address toxic employee issues in the workplace. Well, it’s not easy, since any form of toxic waste is harmful. Moving it to another department won’t remove the problem, it just spreads the poison to another area. Diluting it, my adding more talented folks to the mix doesn’t work either because they’ll eventually succumb to the poison themselves or the productivity of the department will fall dramatically.
Many councillors and psychologists suggest good strategies for dealing with a narcissistic (as a manager or as a report), but to me these are defensive. Narcissists can remain in organizations for years, so it’s not up to a co-worker to just ‘deal with the problem’, but rather the onus is on management and HR to systematically document their behaviors and assess their contribution before they disrupt things dramatically. Remember, narcissistic behavior can cost an organization mega $’s due to stress related illness, absenteeism and rising staff turnover.
This is where talent and performance management can play a key role. As a manager if you suspect one of your team is a destructive narcissist then use the system to document goals, objectives and achievements. Look to set and measure progress based on attributes like inclusion and team work, rather than one off tasks. Once you have a thorough and documented chart of their behaviors and shortfalls, be prepared to work with HR to enact the appropriate strategies. Remember, the destructive narcissist is adept at ‘working around the system’, so make sure the systems you have in place can accurately record and measure their behaviors and any complaints received. At all times ensure swift action is taken, bearing in mind that many talented victims of the destructive narcissist will leave the organization if nothing is done to improve their situation in the short term.
So how do you as a employee, manager or HR professional deal with the toxic employees in the workplace? I’d love to hear from you!
Zapeteo
Living in a land far-far-away, Zapeteo writes about anything and everything related to the management and mentoring of really talented people. As such, he frowns on wooden phrases like ‘human capital management’ and ‘performance-based culture’. Instead preferring to discuss real issues, involving real people and especially what can help them build fruitful and rewarding careers.
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